Ms. Hall Is a Goofball! by Dan Gutman

Author:Dan Gutman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2018-08-05T16:00:00+00:00

When I got to school the next day, the weirdest thing in the history of the world was going on. All the kids in my class were out on the grass talking to Ms. Hall. Even Mr. Cooper was out there. He was wearing overalls and holding some shovels and rakes.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Are we digging for gold?”

“No,” Ms. Hall replied. “We’re planting a garden!”

WHAT?!

Ms. Hall told us to start digging and hoeing and raking the dirt so she could plant seeds for the garden. It was hard work.

“How much are we getting paid for this?” I asked, leaning on my shovel.

“Your pay is the joy that will come from growing your own food,” said Ms. Hall.

Ugh. Growing food is disgusting. Why would anybody want to eat something that came out of the dirt?

“Aren’t there laws against this?” said Alexia as she wiped her forehead with her sleeve.

We worked for a million hundred hours in the garden. I thought I was gonna die. That’s when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. Suddenly the school bus pulled up to the curb.

Well, that’s not the weird part. The school bus pulls up to the curb every day. The weird part was what happened next.

“Bingle boo!” hollered our bus driver, Mrs. Kormel. “Limpus kidoodle!”

That means “hello” and “have a seat.” Mrs. Kormel is not normal. She invented her own language.

“Where are you taking us?” Alexia asked as we climbed on the bus.

“You’re going on a field trip,” she said.

“Yay!” everybody shouted.

Field trips are cool. One time, we went to a museum that had an exhibit called “The World of Poop.”

“Where is the field trip?” I asked Mrs. Kormel.

“We’re going to a farm,” she replied.

WHAT?!

Farms are boring. All they have there are plants and animals.

We drove a million hundred miles. Ms. Hall told us that from now on, all the fruits and veggies we get for lunch will be coming from local farms. We got a tour of the farm, and Ms. Hall explained how they grow spinach, carrots, green beans, and other veggies. What a snoozefest.

At the end of the tour, Ms. Hall showed us how to milk a cow. It was gross. I can’t believe milk comes out of a cow. I thought it came out of a supermarket. I’m never going to drink milk again.

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